Monday, December 2, 2013

I have no idea where this is going....

For some of you, this time of year is a time that you either start reflecting on the past semester and see what you need to do differently for the next, or it is time to freak out over finals coming up soon. I am realizing that for the first time in 5 years I will not be doing this. Instead, I am reflecting on all the changes that have happened over the past year.

Now before you think this is going to be a depressing post, it shouldn't be. If you're a crier, I apologize that it may happen.

This past year has been a year full of changes for me. Most people don't know, but I lost my last two remaining grandparents exactly one week apart from each other last December. My grandma from my moms side passed away first and then my grandpa on my dads side passed away. These were some tough times for me, but I had some of the greatest people by my side through this whole time. Not only did my family life change but my personal life did a complete 180.

I had always known that TBS was a big part of my life after I went active, but my last year in college I fully emerged myself in it. It was a place where I could be myself and know that I was making a difference in someones life, even if I didn't see it happening, I knew one day it would help someone. Anyways, when I thought my life was in shambles and I had no idea what to do with myself, I had some amazing sisters by my side. I had many shoulders to cry on, even when it was at a bus stop coming home from the Military Bowl (when I found out my grandpa passed away). I never thought that I would see my life crumbling in front of me, but it seemed like the whole month of December was the end of it all for me. I always knew one day that I would lose my final two grandparents, but never realized that it would happen so close to each other. On the bus ride home from DC, which is a long drive when you just received bad news on, I was getting text messages from sisters who were on other buses or weren't even on the trip. Just knowing that I had this support system around me helped me out so much. I always thought that I knew what sisterhood was, but when this happened I realized what sisterhood really was.

Even though they weren't with me, I knew they cared. Yes, I know that sisters care about you no matter where they are, but this was something else. It was something that I had never experienced before, and I don't think I would have experienced if it weren't for the sisterhood.

So I had talked about reflecting on the past year, and that was basically just an introduction to the events that basically changed my outlook on TBS. Like I said, I always knew how big of a part TBS had played in my life, but now it was something different. I honestly don't know how to explain the feeling of the change that had taken place, but one did. I never thought that I would be selected to serve as a District Officer for the NCD, but this change that I felt made me take the step. It also helped that I was being urged by some sisters to run for an office. I knew that not only could I make an impact at the chapter level, but seeing the opportunity to make one at the district level was crazy to me. And well, being me, I decided it was worth the risk. (Side-note, I am not a risk taker) Running for District Office introduced me to some great people that I may not have met if it weren't for running. Only after knowing each other for a few months, I was able to call one of them crying for the most random reason. Oh and being the only girl (besides Trudy), makes things interesting. I may seem like someone who will go up to people and just start talking, but I really am not. I am super shy, except over the past year I have realized that you just need to make an attempt and if people look at you like you are crazy, well at least you made an attempt.

With this year being my first year as a teacher, I had for sure used lessons that I learned in TBS to help me to work with others. When I first started TBS, I wasn't sure what I should/shouldn't do. That is what I'm going through this year with my co-teaching classes, I'm realizing that I just have to take a chance and if I do something wrong, I know what not to do the next time, and I am also learning to work with people who have different teaching styles than I do. Another lesson that I have learned, is that no matter how far away you go, you can always go "Home" to your sisters and your chapter. Even though I'm not able to make it up there on Wednesdays, I know that when I go to BG and need a place to stay that sisters are always open to having alumni sleep on their couches and spend time with them.

I've decided that most of this was just me rambling, so I am going to attempt to wrap it up. Basically, TBS has helped me through what I think was the roughest year of my life. From losing my last two grandparents, to my best friend/other half moving to Alaska, my sisters have always been there for me. And I know that all the work that I have put in and will continue to put in will help out others. You never know who you are going to have an impact on, even if you don't think you are doing something major, there may be that one person who notices and you are able to help them through some things.

Sorry for the rambles, its a Monday and I can't sleep.

MLITB,
Jane